22/9/2009

Just came back from the hospital. My dad is hospitalised for suspected stroke. Thats the vulnerability of life and it suddenly struck me deeply. My parents arent young anymore and when you aged, your body becomes like an old car and starts to whine and break down. Such is the effect of age on you.

While I look at my dad and he seemingly dismissing it as no big deal probably to allay my mom's fears, I could see something in him that I have never seen before. I guess it struck him too. Such is the vulnerability of life and he is no exception to the rule.

I feel damn bad that I cannot do much to alleviate the fear and uncertainties except trying to be strong. Hopefully the doctor's prognosis would be positive.

Today I was extremely annoyed with one of my student. I have tried so many times to counsel and talk sense to him. I actually thought he understand. However I feel that he is a character who only feels that the world owes him and that he is this poor little lost soul. Really upseting but luckily, he is the exception rather than the norm.

Finally I came back from batam with TK, mel and dan. I guess only Tk and I had fun. It was ramadan and the party fun places were closed. In the end, TK and I went off to buy fireworks and set them off at 3 am, giggling, laughing and of course drunk.

Deflated

Today went for the vball training. Was actually pretty hyped up prior to the training so much so that I even put off going to hospital to remove my piles since the doctor said I would be out of action for minimum a week..

Chris came down and joined in as well. I was actually very disappointed and hurt deep down. I have prepared a cake and some tidbits to celebrate the birthdays of the September babies. However I felt that I was being underappreciated..

I had a hard time even to get them for a photo shoot and after much cajoling, I finally took some pictures none of which were satisfactory. I am really really hurt deep down.. I really do care for them and always put them in the first place. This incident has truly deflated me..

I do not ask for tangible benefits or recognition but the minimum to do is to appreciate the extent I have gone through this for them?? Minus away rushing to cake shop to buy a cake, preparing tidbits and even coming for vball while my piles up still up my arse, I really have hoped that the response would be better and that they could see the effort I put in?

In the end, it felt as if I force them to celebrate and the whole celebration became a sham that was as if to please me more than them. Nothing more to add.

Latest developments

Teaching in the new school has so far proved to be a very enjoyable thing to do. I really do enjoy my time there. What is there not to like? A wonderful superior, friendly colleagues and the students are mostly very agreeable there.

I look forward for volleyball sessions all the time. Really enjoy coaching them but just not too sure if I'm the most competent candidate to coach them. Hopefully they enjoy my training sessions as much as I enjoyed coaching them.

Next week will be the 1 week break. Cant wait for friday's training when I prolly will introduce some games and cut the training bit due to it being a holiday session.

The annoying thing is that I got piles right now. Fucking irratingly painful. -___-"
Last night spent alot on drinks.. Was expecting the others to chip in but they did not offer.. Luckily qmo and I are splitting the 2nd bottle. No more drinks for now.. Budget time.

Will go back school on monday to do some work and gym if my piles clear up by then.