shattered yet again

I thought time has come for me to give up the name to my blog. Instead i found myself staring at the deeper end of abyss. when i thought i had found love, it left me once again shattering the hopes and dreams i have held on to.

She is a broken girl herself too. her fiance just left her for another girl and she seeks solace in my embrace which i readily offered. however despite the laughters, promises and cuddles we shared, she finally came to the realisation that im not him and his not me.

I know i was the rebound when i stepped right in. i didnt mind that so long i get her. figures out that i prolly could change her if i continues to shower her with love and care. showed her to my parents as she told me she is sure of her feelings for me.

Soon i realised, she is not so sure. i have to pick myself up from this again. while you have been through pain before, it doesnt mean that pain feels any lesser when you go through it again. i got home after leaving her at 5am. its 8 now. i couldnt sleep. imageries of her flood my head when i closes my eyes.

It have only been a 6days relationship. just like charmaine before her, it stings despite the short lifespan of it all. i do not want to love or be loved anymore. the pain that might comes from it is too unbearable for me. let me stay alone for the rest of my life. i do not need or want love anymore. i seriously dont.