Ramblings on love

A student shared with me an anecdote of hers lately that she used to be so clueless even on the meaning of LOVE. I was stumped. Fact is.. I suspect that I myself do not understand the true meaning of love.

I had went through numerous relationships. Some good, others bad. The important thing is all ends up in tatters one way or another. Having resume my bachelorhood lately, a fact failed to escape my attention.. Indeed I'm getting on in age.

I remembered wishing to settle down by 27 years old maximum in the past. In a couple of months, I will turn 27. No marriage remains in sight and doesn't look anything close to it too. While I constantly reminds those around me on the virtues of having a stable and remarkable career first before switching your focus to your love life, its not difficult to see that it is way easier to expound on it than to really practice it.

Almost ashamed to admit that in spite of numerous girlfriends and aging by the minutes, I remain none the wiser on love. How provocative that even those people who went through probably half of what I'm been through, can narrate and adhere to love and its teachings much better than I do.

I have decided to go Dubai. The last time I traveled overseas to do my exchange was to escape a broken relationship and its remnants of memories, promises and hopes. This time I hope to really push on for my career. If ultimately, I remains luckless with the God of Love, I hope at least I can be successful in my work and give fortunes and happiness to my family.

I continued to hope that enlightenment of love and the bliss it brings will struck me soon. Hope is dissipating fast though..

updates

So many things have happened after i last updated my blog. i shall list them down though not in order..

(1) i finally graduated from smu with a pass degree.. did not managed to get degree with merit but just happy im out of the school..

(2) im finally about to end my time with insurance companies. achieved my goal of getting at least an award as it will look better in my CV. went to the award gala.

(3) i have a gf whom i was really serious about. however due to various reasons, i just broke up with her ydae.. today was her bdae.. why did things turn out this way?

(4) i finally went to taiwan which was one of the countries i really wanted to visit. i went with her but was struck down by severe illness a few days into the trip..

(5) ms gan passed away. it was a protracted and painful battle.. seeing her lying motionless in the coffin, i shed tears. memories of her in what seems like yesterday came flooding back. before she passed away, i finally garnered enough courage to tell her how i feel.
"some people set up their hold life trying to leave a legacy. you have left yours in me. you will always be my legend ms gan.." RIP.

(6) I got a job offer to head to dubai. from fullerton financial which is a 100% owned subsidiary from temasek holdings. thinking if i should take it up. dubai is after all really far from my family..

(7) im doing relief teaching at my former school. it is like one of my dream to be a relief teacher. i had accomplished it finally.. the students are great and i had a brunch of really fun relief teacher frens. actually some students asked if i will go into full time teaching.. my parents are really keen on me doing that too.. i enjoyed my time.. however im determined to climb up the corporate ladder. if i fail, maybe i will consider teaching. but then again, i will not fail. failure is not an option.

right now, im just really unclear about my next move. career is the paramount importance in my life right now. pray i will choose the right move. then again, life is about taking risks isnt it?