demise of my grandma
I wanted to scream and let up the sorrow i been containing. she was gone. just like that. my grandma is gone for good. i saw her limpless body lying there. her eyes were gone but her face was contorted. it was a sight i will never forget. i cried.
When i was at the old folks home, i thought of not only my grandma but those elderly residing there. how are they feeling that every now and then, the person next to them who was sleeping so soundly the night before is there no more? i saw a staff member silently wipe a tear that was cascading down her cheek.. i asked myself again. what type of job is this that they must face death at those they being caring for? and once the old folk is brought in, death will be an inevitable end. both the elderly occupants and their caretakers must be thinking the same. death is the old folks only way out of the home. i cried.
I saw her lifeless body lying on the stretcher. her face and body after being touched up by make up artiste, was a tranquil and peaceful sight. i struggled and choke with emotions. i held firm. i made my way to her. i touched her for the last time and whispered to her. goodbye grandma. tears form again. i cried.
Suddenly i think of the life she had led. she might never had been in love before. she might never felt the true bliss of family before. she never study much and she didnt achieved much. maybe to her, this life had been a real waste, a real shambles. my heart was pining for her. tears were pricking at my eyes. my head started to get heavy and the whole seriousness of this issue bogged down on me. she is gone and will never be back. i choked with emotions.
I saw plenty of relatives gathering. some cried while they saw her body. silent wails could be heard. i stared at the sky. pondering where she is now? is she smiling at me from somewhere and telling me subtly that she is fine and she has finally found her peace?
After awhile, the chatters and laughters resumed. seemingly nonchalent, most went about their tasks. the young laugh and played. the older grandchildren was forming a clique. the grown ups were discussing the circumstances of her death and possible 4d numbers that might be given from her to bless them. i wish to shout. i cant. im junior in ranking.
Can anyone understand how i feel? i doubt. personally i dont know too. guilt of not doing enough, comfort at her release from pain, sorrow at the thought of losing someone who is so dear to me, i dont know. i know something for sure. in time to come, she will be a passing memory for all those concerned. looking at the scenes during the wake, her being forgotten and left behind by all would be a distinct possibility in a not too distant future. i cried again.
I miss you and if there is ever a chance again, i say..
Please let me be your grandson again.
RIP Grandma aged 82
When i was at the old folks home, i thought of not only my grandma but those elderly residing there. how are they feeling that every now and then, the person next to them who was sleeping so soundly the night before is there no more? i saw a staff member silently wipe a tear that was cascading down her cheek.. i asked myself again. what type of job is this that they must face death at those they being caring for? and once the old folk is brought in, death will be an inevitable end. both the elderly occupants and their caretakers must be thinking the same. death is the old folks only way out of the home. i cried.
I saw her lifeless body lying on the stretcher. her face and body after being touched up by make up artiste, was a tranquil and peaceful sight. i struggled and choke with emotions. i held firm. i made my way to her. i touched her for the last time and whispered to her. goodbye grandma. tears form again. i cried.
Suddenly i think of the life she had led. she might never had been in love before. she might never felt the true bliss of family before. she never study much and she didnt achieved much. maybe to her, this life had been a real waste, a real shambles. my heart was pining for her. tears were pricking at my eyes. my head started to get heavy and the whole seriousness of this issue bogged down on me. she is gone and will never be back. i choked with emotions.
I saw plenty of relatives gathering. some cried while they saw her body. silent wails could be heard. i stared at the sky. pondering where she is now? is she smiling at me from somewhere and telling me subtly that she is fine and she has finally found her peace?
After awhile, the chatters and laughters resumed. seemingly nonchalent, most went about their tasks. the young laugh and played. the older grandchildren was forming a clique. the grown ups were discussing the circumstances of her death and possible 4d numbers that might be given from her to bless them. i wish to shout. i cant. im junior in ranking.
Can anyone understand how i feel? i doubt. personally i dont know too. guilt of not doing enough, comfort at her release from pain, sorrow at the thought of losing someone who is so dear to me, i dont know. i know something for sure. in time to come, she will be a passing memory for all those concerned. looking at the scenes during the wake, her being forgotten and left behind by all would be a distinct possibility in a not too distant future. i cried again.
I miss you and if there is ever a chance again, i say..
Please let me be your grandson again.
RIP Grandma aged 82
posted by david at 8:27 AM
3 Comments:
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened, David. But I'm sure in spirit, your grandma would take comfort as she knows that you loved her dearly. Just as I'm sure that she loved you as dearly.
I'm not good at condolences, so I'll just say that as much as preparations for the last respect would be important, so is your health. Please take care, my friend...
sorry that i missed ur message & couldnt provide a shoulder at the time needed.
u must rest well too.
Thanks alot my friends. i really appreciate your concerns.. thanks.
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