I saw, i went and i screwed up

As the title suggested, it was a tragedy in the making. if you are the emotionally weak, you might wana turn away and stop reading.. what follows is a heart rending tale of a guy who saw his dream girl, went for a date and promptly screwed it up. *tissues pleasee*

1st July 2006
Today was the day i first saw her after many years. was not even supposed to be there. that night i had invites to 3 different outings. in the end, i opted for the seemingly most boring one. that is to go ktv with urine's motely clan of friends.

I laid my eyes on her. prolly smitten. she is not the kind you can say is a rare beauty or the babe with the hottest bod. she is not also the funniest one there since urine takes that accolade or even an acomplished singer. however something about that eyes is captivating.

those doeful eyes.. huge and round and definitely lively. if eyes are the gateway to one's soul, her soul must be pure and innocent. sent her home and did not ask for her number. what for? i in any likelihood will never get to be with her..

About 20th July

Finally muster enough courage to ask for her no from yanz. she was busy and couldnt come out. its ok. i will wait and bid my time.

24-29th July

Tried to ask her out but she is perpetually busy. what do you expect anyway? a 26 years old single girl, working, hot etc. possibility of her being free? low. or could it be she just did not want to see us anymore.. i remained hopeful.

30th July

The impatient and reckless side of me reared its head again. im sick of waiting for something that dont seems like happening. harnessing every ounce of my courage, i keyed in a msg. this is supposed to be an ultimatum. if she is busy again, thats it. i will never ever bug her again.

Miracles do happen it seems. she sms be back. "Yes im free. how about watching lakehouse tmr?" sounds good. sounds farking good matter of fact. with trembling fingers, i key back the reply. it screamed a resounding "YES!" my hopes were raised.

31th July

Judgement day. was pondering what to wear.. should i wear shirt, tee, polo or what? in the end, i went for the casual look. just anyhow wear a polo..

The whole day went by in a blur.. i was too nervous to think straight. finally the moment i have being waiting for arrived. its 4.45pm. rushed over to bugis and buy the tickets. movie name? lakehouse. good. romance show. should be good.

Seconds ticking away.. minutes wizzing by. no signs of her. stay calm david. stay calm. sms her to tell her im there and not to worry. take her time. good move. show u r patient. rush to 77th street to buy a simple accessory to put on my wrist. ha. but couldnt make it work. damn. waste my effort. nvm. the trick is to stay cool.

Tick tock tick tock.. is that the sound of the clock? or is it my heart beating fast?? let me hear it again.. i cant decide.. maybe both. shit im way too nervous. how can that be?? im not a prude after all. and this is definitely not the first time im meeting a girl. fark..

She finally showed up. though a belated entrance, my heart stopped beating when i saw her. somehow the crowd seems to slow down and time stand still. omg.. first impression.. she look abit older than i thought. her face seemed rounder. not as pretty as envisaged but something, something about her is so sinfully attractive. tried to wipe the ginger smile of my face. oh wait. is that a spastic smile instead?

"ok now where do we go?" i tried saying up to you.. no go. i cant behave like a girl. should be swift and decisive. must be a man.. "ohh how about can cafe? we can chill there." she agreed and off we go. cranberry juice for her, blackcurrant tea for me. nice.. colour matches.

we talked about everything. our past, the future(i dont mean OUR future), etc etc.. topics were gray and serious. i somehow cant find a joke. DAMN. im like named the joke dispenser and here? i got a mental block. am i like those famous composers and poets who suffered from inspiration blocks now and then? and at this cricitical time!? i cursed.. silently.

Movie time. not bad. sandra bullock is still cute. keanu reeves? oh well he is still keanu.. tragic. my heart began to beat irregulary and start to emit weird growls. is that jitters? or is that gas? fuck! tried to search for water... didnt find any. no sweets too!! and the fucking growling just wont stopped!! i start to "consolidate" my saliva.. once i had enuff in my mouth, i swallowed.. yeewz, yucks all you want.. this is crisis time. i cant sit there with weird sounds coming out from my stomach right!! i tried my darnest best to suppress it.. very very uncomfortable..

End of movie. dinner time. was thinking about steamboat but didnt mentioned anything. she said go down look. i said ok. once at the basement, she decided on yoshinoya. fine with me. i paid for her again though she seemed adamnant on paying. recalling may's advice, pay for everything. ok she is a bimbo that may but hell she is still a girl. i pay. anyway i always pay for girls so its nothing new.

Dinner was ok. mediocre food but when she is sitting in front of you, the food seemed so appetising. i polished the food off. went to take train back. should gotten a car. damn. no choice. no money and dad not back. make do with public transport.

On the train, we hardly talk. HARDLY. nothing to say. dont know what to say. its as if im transported back to the huimin's era. shy. lost of words. "next stop, yishun." should i send her back? i offered. she turned me down. i hestitated. should i follow and risked being irritating? should i stay put and maybe get condemned as ungentlemanly? i stayed put. somethings tell me that she is not keen on me sending her back..

The end. with that, it marks my brief sojourn with my dream girl. dream girls are just supposed to be that. remains in the dreams. i saw, i went and i screwed up.