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i wanted to turn back but it was in vain.. as her voice started to quiver and mercilessly broke the chrisp yet painful news to me, i shivered.. she tried to sound indifferent but her voice betrayed her nervousness. as she starts to find choice words to break the news to me as gently and subtly as possible, i start to realise the magnitude of the problem..

a precedent has being set. as the stark reality of the news began to weigh heavily upon my shoulder, i tried to stay positive. "dont cry david. dont smile too." do not let them have the chance to revel in their choice. make them think, make them ponder. make them guess how oh how did this guy remain so passive and calm in the face of adversary?

like a battle hardened warrior, i stood up and nod silently. i understand and i accepted their decision. harsh it may be, i will bear it. a huge blow to my ego, a potentially career ending blow. shall i wallow in self pity? shall i rant and shout and let them have the enjoyment to bask in their decision? i smiled gingerly. for this is a girl whom in my despair, still remains strangely attracted to.

she is thin. almost stick like. but her waif like figure seems to glide through the terrain effortlessly. ahh.. what a sight.. as i took in the last few mouthful of the stale air there, i realise this is the beginning of the end. let her regret. let them regret. thou shall not look back.

i suck in one last breath and without turning to look at anyone or anything, i took my bow. i wish i need not be back. i wish this would be my final swansong. but it was not to be. like a cruel joke, i must return tomorrow to this fake utopian society. its a survival of the fittest place. i have outlived my stay. i am retrenched. though i shall have endless freedom now till school starts, i felt a massive strain upon me. ahh... 1 step forward for freedom. unfortunately?? 2 steps regression for ego.. sigh.