Friendster account
After suppressing the need to set up a friendster account since i deleted mine more than 1.5 yrs back, i belatedly re set up one today. maybe its because ruifang ask me to check if her friends are cutee.. maybe its because i have being inundated with requests to set up mine friendster account. maybe its because i realise my circle of friends are not as large as i believe it to be(if not i wont be alone on sat nite!). maybe.. just maybe its a sign, a gesture of closure. in any case, i registered my friendster account for say.. the 4th time? hopefully tis will be my last too...
However after i embarked on my maiden odessey journey to re discover and to reacquaince myself with long lost friends, i did the unthinkable. i search for her site.. deliberately. have i healed and recovered fully? i guess i do. but to try to totally shove her out of my mind as if it never happen before is just going to be an act to tough to cut.
Do i miss her? uh huh.. yes i do at times. but this doesnt prove or vindicate any single thing. im sure everyone in their struggle to fight bordom, in their spare times, in their loneliness and in despair, all tries to reach out and grab hold to a pleasant memory. its an automatic mechanism that is designed to give u some respite to the unpleasanties that may be plaguing you. it is like a life bouy that u cling on to and refuse to let go even though u have reach shore. fearing that you might ever need the bouy again, u deflate it and keep it securely under some articles. maybe im rambling now. maybe im being philosophically incoherent. maybe im jus aching to get some attention. maybe im jus plain bored..
Have i let go of the past? one of the favourite question that i had being asked countless times since we broken up. oratorical replies from me seem to highlight the point she is no longer in my life. evidence suggest otherwise. while i no longer harbour any lingering hopes to rekindle the past we once had, i have always seek to compare her with the new girls i met. the worst thing? the new girls inevitably will came up short.
However its true that after my exchange, i sort of feel a more different man. my temper has mellow. my mood swings are lesser in frequencies. im more cheerful. heck even my waistline is balloning though this is not necessary an ideal situation. while this blog has serve its purpose of being a bitter satire of mine to rant about irrelevancies, "loonism", occasional political outbursts and of course my own experiences, they usually encompass the usual topics. its importance though should not be belittled.
Without an avenue to channel your frustrations, i would have being a more ill tempered and bitter guy than i am now. hey i just confirmed my position as a swirler in thoughts. i can start this entry as why do i start a friendster account and now im talking about total mundane and morbid ironies that are totally irrelevant. i do not know what im feeling right now. its a stage of confusion with a vast layer of canopy shielding my brain from deciphering my real mood now. i do know for sure that i am not sad. thats good. an improvement.
However after i embarked on my maiden odessey journey to re discover and to reacquaince myself with long lost friends, i did the unthinkable. i search for her site.. deliberately. have i healed and recovered fully? i guess i do. but to try to totally shove her out of my mind as if it never happen before is just going to be an act to tough to cut.
Do i miss her? uh huh.. yes i do at times. but this doesnt prove or vindicate any single thing. im sure everyone in their struggle to fight bordom, in their spare times, in their loneliness and in despair, all tries to reach out and grab hold to a pleasant memory. its an automatic mechanism that is designed to give u some respite to the unpleasanties that may be plaguing you. it is like a life bouy that u cling on to and refuse to let go even though u have reach shore. fearing that you might ever need the bouy again, u deflate it and keep it securely under some articles. maybe im rambling now. maybe im being philosophically incoherent. maybe im jus aching to get some attention. maybe im jus plain bored..
Have i let go of the past? one of the favourite question that i had being asked countless times since we broken up. oratorical replies from me seem to highlight the point she is no longer in my life. evidence suggest otherwise. while i no longer harbour any lingering hopes to rekindle the past we once had, i have always seek to compare her with the new girls i met. the worst thing? the new girls inevitably will came up short.
However its true that after my exchange, i sort of feel a more different man. my temper has mellow. my mood swings are lesser in frequencies. im more cheerful. heck even my waistline is balloning though this is not necessary an ideal situation. while this blog has serve its purpose of being a bitter satire of mine to rant about irrelevancies, "loonism", occasional political outbursts and of course my own experiences, they usually encompass the usual topics. its importance though should not be belittled.
Without an avenue to channel your frustrations, i would have being a more ill tempered and bitter guy than i am now. hey i just confirmed my position as a swirler in thoughts. i can start this entry as why do i start a friendster account and now im talking about total mundane and morbid ironies that are totally irrelevant. i do not know what im feeling right now. its a stage of confusion with a vast layer of canopy shielding my brain from deciphering my real mood now. i do know for sure that i am not sad. thats good. an improvement.
posted by david at 2:10 AM
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