Sarah

I just got back from watching a movie-nacho libre. kinda lame show but the actress was pretty cute so in that retrospect, 2.5 stars.

Tmr (infact later) was the start of my summer term 3b. okae i havent bidded for that mod yet but still gg for class and see if i can secure a spot. its being ages since i step back into smu and i will be doing so with trepidation.. went to a club butter factory in the end last night and its pretty cool. hot babes and their house beer is asahi. first time tasting that. kinda diff..

I was watching a b grade tv show on channel 8 about some killers who killed 2 caucasians. its supposed to be a truth story i guess. in the show i saw a brunette. it stir up some innate feelings in me that i thought had since laid dormant. apparantly its not meant to be i guess..

That girl is sarah. yesh sarah the german. i remembered that night vividly as i laid down on my bed. she must be in america now ba. what makes her so special? i guess that 1 night i spent with her was the closest i had came since i broken up that make me felt in love..

I recalled that night fondly. i went with bottie to find lucie and sarah after our dinner at swekja. i was abit reluctant as i do not really know them. even though i found sarah cute way before that (during the fancy costume party and her pic is somewhere in my earlier entry), i had never thought of finding her. i doubted i had a chance anyway.

Somehow that night, i went along. more in hope than anything else. while at her aprt, we didnt talk much. after we went to the club, she was chatting mostly with nils. i couldnt find the opportunity to approach her. however i soon find her alone for a split second. i garnered all my courage and in false bravado, i went up to her.

She wanted me to drink and i agree. we went to the bar and get more drinks. we were gyrating to the beats and rythm not too long after that. all along, she was constantly trying to remind me its only for fun. somehow i got the feeling those statements was more for her than me. i did something stupid. she asked me to drink a glass of half full beer on the table. it was just lying there and we didnt know who it was for. it definitely didnt belong to my friends. i drank it. it was absurb as that night, beer was free flow. somehow i did it. i just felt that need, that insatiable urge to give in to her. in return for that act, she kissed me.

After sometime, we went for a walk.. we were chatting and she was lying on my lap. it was magical.. i did not expect to hold a quality conversation with a german girl i barely knew. somehow the vibe was there. it was really beautiful. we kissed again. this time it was a lingering kiss that sucked the life out of me. for that brief moment, my whole body was raptured by love.. love that tingering sensation..

We went back to her aprt and room. i slept with her that night. we did not did anything other than kissing and hugging. how could that be possible?? but thats exactly how it happened. i wont denied i tried to do more than that. as any hot blooded male would testify, it is hard to resist the allure of a cute girl. whats more a cute german girl.

Somehow i was satisfied. just lying beside her and cuddle her gently. my arms was cramping as i tried my best not to move so as not to stir her from sleeping. i recalled being awake the whole night. i was content just to see her fall asleep beside me. i could feel her heartbeat, her gentle breathing, her every stirs and movements. it was simply mesmerising.

I was in utopia. i found myself wishing the night doesnt end and she will continued to lie beside me. of course it didnt happened. in the morning we were still very lovey dovey. as i had lessons and my eyes were starting to smart from dryness of my lens, i excuse myself and left. she promised me to meet that night. somehow i knew then it was not going to happen.. indeed.. that was the last special night i had with her..

She did not really explain why.. to this day, i found myself pondering occasionally what had caused her to change so drastically. i guess it should be that she is leaving in a week's time and knew we will have no future together. if thats the case, i be extremely upset. i am someone who could give up alot just to pacify my love one and be with her. i was prepared to wait for her tough it may be. guess it takes two to tango. in the end, we left it as that. a special day in warsaw. a night that came closest to replicate the sensations, the love, the vibe, the tenderness that bear striking resemblance to her. yes.. her.. sarah.. i wish you happiness for the rest of your life. you are deeply missed..