her

My heart is feeling this sharp piecing sensation that surge through my body.. My head is throbbing with pain too.. i want to get away from these all.. everyday i question myself.. do she likes me? she is pissed at me as she felt that the whole world only revolves around me.. i think she is wrong. if she is sharp enough, my world actually revolves around her cos she is my world and my world is actually her..

This i hope is another of my many crushes i have had. becos it wont be that pain. i question my ability to love. why do i fall in love so readily, so easily? cos i yearned to be love.. i wish to wake up everyday noting that someone out there loves u too.. it is that hard. it is so painful to keep pining for someone. someone who told u she likes u but is simply too busy for u. u sit back and ponder.. could you have make time for someone u like?? most of you would say yes. well.. most of you aint canadian.

There is this widening gap between us. i fear her cos i dont know what i must do to be with her to make her less mad at me and to open her heart to me. i want to be in her circle of trust. i think its not her fault that we cant communicate. in the first place, we aint similar. forged from years of residence in a nation that is more than 24 hours apart. we are human beings, but we are different. so similar yet so different.. i used to think love will bridge that. well i still hold that im right on that count. the hardest act is.. how do u make her love u when u r usually pissing her mad with ur actions??

I always wonder why carrot loves cx so much? i mean this guy aso got no lack of suitors.. he aint too close to cx, didnt hang around her much or talk to her much.. suddenly i realise how silly i have been. why do i crave for jannell so much? beats me.. love isnt rational too.. in spite of all these problems and headaches and the fact that we wont likely be together, she is still the one for me.. at least till a better one comes along.

missing her.