musings

It seems that some of my students been reading my blog and keep commenting im too emotional behind the strong and positive facade i tried to put on in front of them. so are they right in thinking that the strong front i put on is merely that.. a front? actually thats quite far from the truth.

I guess everyone has a needy time, a side of him feeling more vulnerable, weaker and negative. it does not necessarily translate in that guy in that guy taking on a new persona.. i guess that all humans or at least most got 2 sides to them. it is just a matter of displaying which side at what time.

Furthermore everyone has to understand that in this meritocratic society, in this even mercenary world, there is really no place for sentiments, for nostalgic and for the weak. if you lack behind, you are eliminated thats it..

Time of teaching has ended.. I'm basically just willing my time away till dubai. I went out on this date yesterday. to quote a line from the movie "the last samurai", it was perfect.. it could be her level of thinking, or her maturity or even her looks, we had an enjoyable evening together. do hope she can go dubai to work alongside with me. that would make it so much more interesting to say the least.

Just to conclude.. i was looking through my msn contacts and as usual, were deleting those that i have lost touch with. i came across her's.. she wont ever be online again or reply to my messages. she will be permanently appearing as offline in my contact list. i did not delete the name.. i typed a message to her even though i knew that there is no way she will ever read it.. however i just want her to know, she may be gone but never forgotten. she will always be in my heart, in my memories. i miss her so much. ms emily gan, if there is an afterlife, i will still be your best student cliche this may sound. go in peace and i hope you finally found the peace you so richly deserve.. RIP.