Double headed snakes..

As i tussle about on my bed, my mind was in turmoil. as words from CP and christine keep replaying on my head, i understand the proverbial poison tongue. as you would had known that there are 4 singaporeans in warsaw from smu. 2 of them are simply too bitch and bastard that makes my blood boils at times..

They are spreading malicious and completely unfounded rumours about me. jerel was the other day telling ppl like his prof and CP what a womaniser and flirtatious bastard i have being.. the funny thing is that he had NEVER went clubbing with me (cept for the first day he was here and i was funnily mostly with him that nite!) or see me with any other girls. CP was angry and asked him to name scenarios of me doing those things he said im guilty of.. he thought for awhile and replied the way i treat cora. CP asked what is it that i mistreated cora of? he replied noncommitedly "just like that la".

Cora was another double headed snake that irks me no end. the reason why i shun them nowadays is i simply cannot live with such ppl. pretending to be sweet and chummy with you while taking every available opportunity to speak ill of you. she told christine what sort of guy i am blah blah blah. ok i admit i tried to make passes at her b4. but here is a girl who talks about sex like no one biz the first day we met. here is the ger openly proclaiming her sexuality. and here is a gurl who wanted to bring condom to poland for usage.. kuba and bartek can surely tell u more about her. what im trying to say is i am no saint.

This i had admit long ago and its pointless even to rebut that. i pride myself of being honest and not do anything scheming. i WONT hook up a girl if she is unwilling. i WONT hook a girl when i am attached. so tell me now ladies and gentlemen, is it wrong for a guy who is single to go out knowing girls? is it wrong for a guy to accept propositions if the girl wants it? so its the guy who is the horny bastard while the girl is sweet and demure and is therefore innocent? ha. this is really bullshit.

They claimed im always with girls and stuffs.. funny that I am almost always with ppl like CP and thoma and jan and kirk who are almost all 100% male? ok i may portray myself as a flirt and stuff. but ask my exs or ask my friends-true friends, have i EVER betray them? do i hang around only with girls and had double treatments for guys and girls?

When ppl like christine and cp( and im pretty sure that there are others) told me what they said, im tornt between going to approach them and punch them or at least seek a clarification or justification for their skewed analysis of me or to stay calm and reassure myself that my real friends will not believe them. i choose the latter option. not that i fear the confrontation or stuffs but i believe im make of tougher stuffs than that. moreover its true fucking fake myopic friends are around everywhere and i should not stoop to their level by harrashing them.

When ppl like CP and Shar rebut them, i am silently pleased.. i know that my action of non confrontation and let it be is vindicated. jerel happened to be a pious catholic. i wonder often whether bullshiting and lying is a sin.. by pretending to be holy and religious, yet make unfounded malicious comments behind a person's back is almost laughable. wonder what bible has to say about liars and back stabbers..

I often think that their actions stemmed from jealously. have not they wonder to themselves that if i am the bastardly guy they judged me to be, why am i the guy who have the most friends here be it guys or girls? why am i the only singaporean invited for parties, bbqs, outings etc while they rot in their rooms? if they think that spreading such statements about me is going to break me, i think they should think twice. when they pretend to be knowledgeable and kind and westernised through their fake accents, they are actually becoming a laughing stock.

Popularity does not lie. sincerity and truth cannot be hidden. i somehow pity those who believe them too. they are actually imbeciles to believe another person words without seeing any substantial evidence for themselves. if they are somehow able to find a person that i took advantage of but is unwilling or unconcious (as i so called make them drunk), inform me. not only them but any of my frens out there.

I may be horny but i dare admit it. which guy got no basic urge to speak of. i do not want to hide and lie by pretending to be innocent and naive. however i do not do things against my conscience. and despite my unbearable desire to defend myself infront of them or to tell my friends how do they behave, i thought against it. because if i had speak ill of them behind their backs, i would be degenerating into their level.

I am only thankful to those who trust me and defend my name to them. as for them, let them get their just rewards for being a gossip monger by remaining obstracised. ohh how they must wonder why they were being left out...