Flying tomorrow
Finally the big day is here.. Tomorrow, i'll be leaving the safe encave of my home, my country to venture into a brand new world. for years, i'm being holed up in this sunny island, ignoring the fact that the world is too vast and different to comprehend. thus even though i get older with every passing day, i still remain too oblivious and ignorant to the surroundings. perhaps that is why this trip is starting to seem fearful for me.
but somehow everyone need to grow up. like the metaphoric young birds leaving their nest and build their own family, im taking a huge step into the unknown. no more protective parents to fend off and take care of my problems. it jus seems that i feel so alienate. so insecure. perhaps this trip will really make me matures. this trip is taking on a brand new purpose for me. its a transition period for me. to forget the past, to conquer my phobia, to not take anything for granted, to open my horizon etc.
the day has to come some how. tonight will be the last night i sleep in my bed till i return. actually i treated my family to dinner for my dad's bdae. i went to buy 3 fishes for my dad's fish tank last night. they might thot that its simply i love fishes then i buy. however the real meaning is to let them look at it when im away, to remind them of me. thus if touch wood anything happen, at least they got something alive to remind them of their son-me.
i hope im thinking too much. this niggling fear still remains thou. i truly love my family. no matter what, they have serve as a pillar of support for me. in asian context, we dont normally show our love for our family openly. however i do care and love them. i really really do. they are great parents and siblings and given a chance i will always want to be their son and brother. this is sounding morbid and too serious but this entry serve to remind me (and them if unfortunately something happen to me-touch wood) of their importance in my life.
on a happier n more positive note, this experience will serve to put me in good stead in the future. i will ideally blossom into a strong, independent individual that family members and friends can depend on. i can hopefully put a closure into my past love experience and carry on with life to learn how to truly love someone again.
the next time i enter entries in this blog will be in warsaw. what will the future in a foreign land entails? no one know. i hope it will be 6 months of fun, laughter and informative experiences that i will always carry with me for the rest of my life.
but somehow everyone need to grow up. like the metaphoric young birds leaving their nest and build their own family, im taking a huge step into the unknown. no more protective parents to fend off and take care of my problems. it jus seems that i feel so alienate. so insecure. perhaps this trip will really make me matures. this trip is taking on a brand new purpose for me. its a transition period for me. to forget the past, to conquer my phobia, to not take anything for granted, to open my horizon etc.
the day has to come some how. tonight will be the last night i sleep in my bed till i return. actually i treated my family to dinner for my dad's bdae. i went to buy 3 fishes for my dad's fish tank last night. they might thot that its simply i love fishes then i buy. however the real meaning is to let them look at it when im away, to remind them of me. thus if touch wood anything happen, at least they got something alive to remind them of their son-me.
i hope im thinking too much. this niggling fear still remains thou. i truly love my family. no matter what, they have serve as a pillar of support for me. in asian context, we dont normally show our love for our family openly. however i do care and love them. i really really do. they are great parents and siblings and given a chance i will always want to be their son and brother. this is sounding morbid and too serious but this entry serve to remind me (and them if unfortunately something happen to me-touch wood) of their importance in my life.
on a happier n more positive note, this experience will serve to put me in good stead in the future. i will ideally blossom into a strong, independent individual that family members and friends can depend on. i can hopefully put a closure into my past love experience and carry on with life to learn how to truly love someone again.
the next time i enter entries in this blog will be in warsaw. what will the future in a foreign land entails? no one know. i hope it will be 6 months of fun, laughter and informative experiences that i will always carry with me for the rest of my life.
posted by david at 12:07 AM
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